He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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