i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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