I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
