i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
