How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
