I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize