lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
