some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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