More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
