I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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