i barfeds in our rink
this boner is exhausting
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
