Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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