That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
