dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
