You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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