my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm drive I can fine osifer
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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