Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
