I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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