how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize