i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
