LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
