I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
