do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
wow bdsm is so cute
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
