Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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