you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this boner is exhausting
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize