I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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