yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
