Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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