kristin has been a bad kristin
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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