She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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