these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
