i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
