I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
