I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we made out on top of his cat.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Never underestimate the power of titties
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
