Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
