No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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