Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
