He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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