so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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