is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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