Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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