I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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