The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
