eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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