you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
what the fuck happened to the tacos
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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