where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
