kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
tell me about the fingering
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