So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
