I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
