Are we in a gay sports bar?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
