Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
