how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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