my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
