this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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