I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
