make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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