It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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