its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
