Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
