We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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