if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I party with great urgency now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
