I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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