I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
