Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
