you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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