hotel room ftw
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
