He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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