just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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