It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
